To the One Waiting

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To the One Waiting,

People say there’s something poetic about waiting for someone. Waiting for someone to be ready to love you back. Waiting for someone to work through their issues, so that their heart can finally learn to love you. Waiting for someone to look at you, just the way you look at them.

There are so many quotes that will always inspire you to hang on. Keep pushing you to hold on; to never give up. You’ll have your friends tell you that it’s only going to be a matter of time before that person realizes your worth and come to you.

This goes on for a while.

You wait.

Patiently.

He’s having issues trusting people? You’re beside him, consoling him. She’s having trouble believing that love doesn’t exist? You’re right there, holding her tight, letting her know that you’re never going to let go. He lashes out at you because he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings? She’s playing with your feelings because she’s unsure of hers? She ‘loves’ you, but likes him as well? He isn’t ready for a relationship right now, but he still wants you hanging on to him? All through, you’re still standing by them. Making excuses for their behavior. Justifying their behavior. Giving them the right to ignore your feelings, and demand that theirs be taken care of.

You fail to notice that every single part of you is slowly breaking as well. It takes strength to hold on; strength is what the world falls in love with, they say. Time and again, you keep telling yourself this. That’s the only way you’ll convince yourself.

Days go by, and slowly, you find yourself sitting in the corner of your room, all alone in the darkness, realizing that somehow, it’s YOU who needs to be saved. You ran with every piece of your heart, only to have it broken again and again by them. Now, it feels like you’re the one who can’t be fixed anymore.

You start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Maybe you’re not spontaneous enough. Maybe you’re too hot-tempered. Maybe you love too intensely and that’s scared the other off. Maybe, maybe and a whole horde of other maybes fill your mind. You soon realize that you’re holding on only because you think their love for you is going to make you feel better about yourself. That their love somehow equates to you being accepted for all your quirks.

Let me be honest. I believe in waiting. I believe that sometimes, two people aren’t ready for each other and time is the only thing that would heal them both together. I also believe that the one you love may not be ready for you right now, but over time, it could lead to something beautiful. I believe that what’s truly meant to be, will find its way to you.

But I also believe in letting go when it’s time. Little does the world know that sometimes, there is absolute beauty and strength in letting go. I believe in letting go, when it no longer helps you grow as a person. I believe in letting go when you slowly start to lose yourself in the process. I believe in letting go, when the other refuses to acknowledge the pain you’re going through as you wait for them.

It does take strength to wait for someone. I know the amount of strength it takes to stand by someone, through ups and downs. To be on the other side of the confusion and yet hope for the days to get brighter. To find yourself struggling to keep them afloat. But as I’ve learnt the hard way, there’s a fine line between strength and stupidity and you should know when to walk away.

You’re allowed to wait for someone, if that’s what you choose. You’re allowed to be there for them while they work through their stuff. You’re allowed to love them with all your heart. You’re allowed to do all that.

But in that process, you’re not allowed to keep breaking your heart. Not allowed to justify someone hurting you intentionally as their way of working through things. Not allowed to compromise on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Not allowed to equate their love to you feeling complete and whole. Not allowed to lose yourself while you’re helping them to stabilize themselves emotionally. Not allowed to trade-off your happiness for a remote possibility of their love. The minute you start to doubt yourself, and realize that you’re in constant pain, THAT’S the moment you need to walk away.

THIS is what I truly believe in. THIS is what life has taught me. I do really hope you wouldn’t have to learn it the way I did.

Love,
The One Who Once Did Break, Waiting

*

I think I’ve reached a stage in life where I feel I’m emotionally stable enough to write about this particular phase of my life. It did take me a while to get back on my feet. It took me a lot more time to believe in myself and in love. I didn’t think I could pull through. It went on for about 3-4 years and believe me,  I still do get goosebumps when I think about everything that I had put myself through. I look back and I’m proud of how far I’ve come and the lessons that I learnt from this experience. I just thought I’d finally write about it and hopefully, help a few lost ones out there.

Lots and Lots of Love,

CatWomaniya ❤

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‘Cuz pretty face yayayay

 

The Could Have Beens

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His:
             She’s not someone you’d call pretty when you first see her. But as the days roll on, slowly, every single bit of her puts you in complete awe.

The way she sighs when she doesn’t get her problem right. The way she looks at you with those big, adorable eyes. Especially when she wants your popcorn after she’s gobbled hers off. Or how cranky she gets when she’s hungry. How she manages to brighten my day even when hers is as dark as a moonless night. How her tiny hands struggle to envelope mine. How she argues that she’s way stronger than me. The head toss she does when she wins an argument.

The quiet giggle she lets slip when she knows she’s on the verge of losing an argument. The way she rolls her eyes every time she thinks I’m showing off. When she’s struggling to reach for the top-most drawer and refuses to accept my help for it. The way she walks with confidence, even though she’s wearing mismatched socks. How vulnerable she is when she’s with me, hair in a bun, in her sweats, talking about life.

How she comes up with the most hard-hitting retorts in a matter of seconds. How she rolls on the floor, laughing. The way she moves when she’s swaying to the music. How her eyes twinkle every time she talks about dance.

I see the way she looks at me. Like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Every single time she sees me, her whole face lights up. She radiates a kind of warmth that I just can’t compare to. I never thought I’d ever be able to feel this way again. But here I am, looking at her from afar, wondering if I could ever muster the courage to let her in.

Something holds me back. Fear of how broken I was the last time love knocked on my door. Fear that she would wake up one day and realize she liked someone else. There would be times she’d convince me that she was here to stay. Something from my past would flash, and I’d immediately take two steps back.

Maybe someday, I’d be able to tell her how much she means to me. How she makes me feel so secure, yet so terrified. She knows everything I’ve been through. She knows why I’m afraid. She knows why I push her away every time she tries to get close. I see the look of confusion flash across her face. Wondering if she’s doing something wrong; followed by a look of determination. I’m sure she’s figuring out another way to let herself in. That tugs my heart a bit.

She’s been through a lot too. Her own fair share of struggles. And yet, her unwavering faith in love urges me to believe in it too. It makes me want to hold her tight and just never let go.

But we all know, reality usually writes a different story for all of us.

Her:
            There are feelings. More than he cares to admit. I can see it. When he looks for me in the crowd. When his hand finds mine while we’re crossing the street. When he notices the little things I do. When he remembers the smallest things I say. What I like. Quotes that move me.  Things that annoy me. (and purposely does it even more!)

When he gauges my mood right through my texts. When he cracks the lamest jokes just to see me smile. When he holds me back from doing something wrong. When he laughs off all my tantrums and teases me even more for it. When he rushes to take care of me when I’m sick. When he picks up an extra rice bowl at Chipotle every time he passes by, only because he knows that would make me happy. (Also because I would NEVER forgive him if he ate it without me, but let’s not get there) The way he looks at me. Every single time, it feels like he’s looking at me for the first time.

He’s not very expressive, but I know I mean a little more to him than everyone else. Love terrifies him. It scares me too. But every time I look at him, I just know he isn’t like the rest of them. I know he won’t decide to leave every time we hit a hurdle. That he’s going to hold me steady even when I may falter. That he’s going treat me with love and respect. I look at him, and I know that once he decides to hold on, he’s never going to let go. Ever since he’s stepped into my life, I find every insecurity of mine slowly finding its way out of my life. In life, you find one person who’s going to come along and ease away every tiny bit of pain that love had previously caused you. Someone who will wash away your fears, one step at a time. Someone, who’s home. To me, he’s home.

I want to be that person for him. Someone who would help him realize that loving the wrong person hurt, but if we gave love a second chance, then maybe, just maybe, we’d find something so much more beautiful than anything we’ve ever seen.

Some days it hurts. Hurts that I’m unable to show him that I’m going to stand by him no matter what. Other days, I’m a lot more patient. Letting fate do its thing. Just being there for him. Loving him as much as I can and not expecting anything back. ‘Cuz for the first time, I think I’ve found someone who’s worth the wait.

*

I think that sometimes, we fear putting ourselves out there because we’re afraid of getting hurt again. If you’re looking for reasons not to be with someone, you’re always gonna find them. Maybe love broke you the first time around. Maybe it crushed you beyond words. Demolished your self-confidence. Threw your faith in love right out of the window. Maybe it also did take you a whole lot of effort to pull yourself back together. To sew your heart right back and pretend it was never broken. To be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not break down. To find yourself all over again. Maybe love did shatter your heart a couple more times after that. Maybe you’ve been on your own for so long that it terrifies you to let someone in.

But maybe, just maybe, it could be different this time. And you’re never going to find out unless you give it a chance. I don’t want to live the next couple of years in fear, and look back one day to find all the ‘could have beens’ hitting me. I don’t want to regret not telling someone I had feelings for them. I don’t want to not show someone how much I care about them and later realize they would have been worth it all. Even if it doesn’t work out, I do want to be able to look back and know that at least I gave love a second shot.

This article is dedicated to all the beautiful potential love stories out there. ‘Cuz all it needs, is one chance.

Currently implementing my own life advice,
CatWomaniya ❤

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The Bus Stop

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His: She’s beautiful. I look at her, and I’m just awe-struck. Every. Single. Time. I’ve actually seen her do a jig in the bus. Out of the blue. When she throws her head up and laughs, something pul…

Source: The Bus Stop

The Bus Stop

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His:

She’s beautiful. I look at her, and I’m just awe-struck. Every. Single. Time. I’ve actually seen her do a jig in the bus. Out of the blue. When she throws her head up and laughs, something pulls me towards her.

Somedays, I see her look outside the window, alone and quiet. Immersed in her own thoughts. Other days, I see her face light up when she’s watching few people dance on her phone. I also see her in the library, often. She sits in the corner table on the third floor. Always. I think that’s her spot. She tucks her hair behind her ear, I think she does that when she’s trying to focus, and that tugs my heart a bit. She seems to like wearing Indian clothes, and it is amazing for me to see how different she looks in them!

The worst part?
She doesn’t know I exist.

Mondays. Wednesdays. Fridays.
8.25am. 3.15pm.
The Bus-Stop.
That’s when I catch her.

I still remember the first time I saw her. We were standing at the bus-stop and she had her headphones on. She was tapping her feet to the beat, her lips moving ever so slightly, and her head was swaying a little. I laughed to myself. We ended up standing together in the bus and every time the bus moved, she would move with it. Balancing herself in the bus was clearly not one of her strengths. She’d fall on to me, and then apologize and then fall again and then apologize and look determined not to fall again. She looked ridiculously cute doing that.

That’s when I started to notice her. The way she walked. The way she talked, waving her hands all around. The way she makes an effort to climb on to the bus because it’s just too wide for her. I’ve heard her talk. You will NOT believe the speed at which she talks. I think about her, more often than I’d admit. She’s..different.

Maybe the attraction is all physical. Or maybe it was, initially, until I started to notice her more.

Whatever it is, as absurd as it sounds, I’m drawn towards her.

*

Her:

It’s 8.10. He’s not here yet. And the bus is here. Maybe, just maybe, my foot got stuck in the one foot of snow and I can’t move right now. Does that seem like a legit reason why I should miss this bus? Uh, hello, yes.

I’m not waiting for him. Pfft. Why would I do that?

No, I didn’t dress up for him.

Can you not look at me suspiciously? Yeah, thanks.

Is he not coming today? It’s 8.17. Why can’t guys ever be on time?

*footsteps*

Aha! That must be him. I can totally recognize him by his footsteps now.

Oh wait. Not him. Sigh.

Urgh. Next bus is here. Can’t miss this or I’ll be late to class.

Maybe today is just not my day to see him.

Wait. SOMEONE decides to hop onto the bus in the last minute. I’m supposed to be grinning in my head, but clearly I have issues with my poker face.

The first time I noticed him? I was waiting for the bus to stop so that I could get onto it, and I see this guy come half running, half trying to put on his shoes! He stops right beside me, all flustered, and I thought it was hilarious!

I began to notice him after that. I’d spot him in the library. At the bus-stop. Sometimes, on the bus on my way back home. He’s got bright blue eyes, messy hair, and a bit of a stubble. He’s insanely tall. Okay not insanely but then for a girl of 5 feet, that’s um, well, intimidating. He’s usually by himself. Seems like an introvert. But I could be wrong. I do love men with a good sense of humor so I’m sorta crossing my fingers hoping that he’s funny.

The first time I noticed he was noticing me back? ( I’m way too smart for my own good I tell you) It was pretty late at night, and it was just the two of us at the back of the bus. I could see him looking at me from the window’s reflection. I did turn, and he gave me a small smile. I returned the smile, but I think I looked like I was grimacing. I think it’s high time I learn how to do the nice smile+blush+look down+flutter eyelashes thingy that normal girls do. Neither of us pursued a conversation. I’ve kept trying to pluck up my courage to say a hello, but we all know what a chicken I am.

Someday, I’m gonna say hi. Or by then this whole telepathy thing would’ve been figured out and I could resort to that. I’m seriously hoping for the latter though.

***

My point of this was to remind you of all those secret crushes we’ve had over the years! The girl in your chemistry class who was so smart? Or that guy in the canteen the other day? That girl who walked past you once in the corridor and you thought she looked good? That guy in the National Debate Competition who was just totally killing it and you were staring at him in awe? Random crushes on people you have never met before. People you would probably never get to talk to ever again. People you would never bump into again. People you’ve just caught a glimpse of, and yet somehow have impacted you.

Now hold on for a second. Realise that YOU were this person to so so many people out there. Realise that someone at some point, has looked at you and thought, “Wow. He’s amazing.” Or “She’s gorgeous” or “ He’s so confident” or “She dances so well”. It doesn’t look like it would, but trust me, it does happen.

I know for a fact that some days I wake up feeling like a potato. Sometimes I feel there’s nothing about me that could charm anyone. On those days, I think about this, and I feel a lot better about myself! I thought of writing this for every single person who has felt the same about themselves. There are moments of a dip in your self-esteem, and that’s okay. There are self-doubts, and well, that’s okay as well! Not everyone is going to tell you how you’ve impacted their lives positively. Sometimes, the most beautiful of compliments gets hidden from you. You’ve got to find it in you to know you are amazing! This happens to be one of the ways that actually works for me, haha!

I usually write about what I’m going through (surprise, surprise!) and this absolutely resonates with what I’ve felt over the past couple of days and I thought I’d pen my thoughts. Self-love is the best kind of love, but sometimes you do fall short of making yourself feel better. We all are entitled to our ‘feel good’ thoughts, and this happens to be one of them for me and I thought I’d share it with you guys!

On that note, Happpyyy Valentine’s Dayyy! ❤

Hope you liked the article!

Still rooting for the telepathy thingy,
CatWomaniya ❤

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You? Priceless.

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I know I’ve been writing a lot of funny articles lately, but I thought I’d end this year with an article that pretty much sums up everything I’ve learnt in 2016. This article is dedicated to everyone who needs to enter 2017 knowing that they are unique; they are priceless, just exactly the way they are.

I think that we waste too much of our time allowing people to make us feel differently about ourselves. We wonder and wonder about what people think of us. We hesitate to take a step because we think it may change the perfect image everyone else has of us.

We fear taking risks. We fear telling someone how we feel about them. We fear putting our foot down when something isn’t going right. We fear going against the wind. We fear. And well, fear.

And you know what the worst part is? At every stage in life, we’re gonna find people who are more than willing to feed on this fear. They’re gonna tell you how to behave. They’re gonna tell you how to make YOUR life decisions. They’re gonna criticize every single thing you attempt to do differently. They’re gonna be pretty persistent about it too. It isn’t that they have your well-being in your mind. No no, it isn’t about that. That would be a different scenario then. This kind of behavior sprouts because of their own insecurities. Their own inability to cope with the fact that you are different.

For quite a part of my life, I had someone or the other telling me I wasn’t good enough for someone. Told me I was wayyy too emotional. That I didn’t fit into the norms of today’s casual dating. Told me I was too hyper for my own good. Told me I wasn’t pretty enough. That maybe if I had a lighter skin tone, and probably three more inches of height, I’d look so much better. Told me that if I tried to be myself, no one was ever gonna like me. Told me that being blunt was the worst thing ever. That my tendency to express myself even for the smallest things would ‘work against me’ someday. Told me that my kind of writing wasn’t formal and no one would ever appreciate it. Told me that no one would get my kind of humor. Told me that I should dress a certain way because it was how everyone wanted to dress. That I wouldn’t fit in. Told me I shouldn’t have any expectations. Constantly kept putting me down in front of other people, just so that they would look good.

Words like ‘Can’t’, ‘Don’t’, ‘No’, ‘Shouldn’t’ pretty much filled my life and when someone constantly keeps telling you negative things, at some point, it starts to fill your thoughts as well. You tend to start feeling that way about yourself. You accept the way people want you to perceive yourself.

It took me a while to understand that I had gotten the logic all wrong. It took a lot of effort to continue putting my foot down. To fight every negative comment with a laugh and still do whatever the heck I wanted to do anyway, haha! It was a little painful when I decided to start distancing myself from people who constantly tried to pull my spirits down. It took time, and a hell lot of a conscious effort to not let their words affect me.

What I learnt this year is that people are going to perceive you the way YOU want them to. Believe me, that is like the biggest power you have. If you are gonna give up and let people walk all over you, then that’s how they’re behave as well.

Building on your self-esteem and confidence is a never-ending battle. The minute you feel you’ve conquered one person, there’s gonna be a much harsher person waiting to knock you down.

Make this your resolution for this year. Remove anyone who is toxic. Honestly, you don’t need that kind of negative energy. Hold on to the ones who truly love you and encourage you to be YOU. They’re the best kind. Take time to understand who you are as a person. YOUR likes, YOUR dislikes, YOUR quirks, YOUR flaws. Don’t let someone else tell you about you. Don’t let someone break your confidence again and again over something that isn’t even your problem to begin with. Walk away if you feel you aren’t valued as a person. Literally run if all you feel around them is how weird you are, because weird is good. Anything different is weird until it becomes the new norm. And YOU get to make that a norm for yourself. You owe that to yourself.

Change yourself only when YOU think it is the right thing to do. Feel differently only if that’s what YOU want to do. Not because someone else told you to. Or because everyone else thinks it’s the right thing to do.

Know you are unique, and that’s okay. You are different, and that’s perfectly normal. You are priceless, and no matter what anyone tells you, YOU get to decide how YOU want everyone to see you.

That’s a whole load of capitalized YOU’s in my article, and trust me, that’s precisely how your life should look!

Stepping into 2017 knowing I’M priceless,

CatWomaniya ❤

p.s – Happpyyy New Yearrr! I truly hope the new year brings you all the love and happiness you deserve!

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5 Things I’d Like to Tell My Crush

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Dear Crush,

I’m not sure if you’ve already figured out, but this one is sort of dedicated to you. Since I’ve got a total lack of brain+voice co-ordination around you, I decided to do what I do best – Writing a list of the things I’d like you to know.

  1. Latest Version of You as DP pls. Ok Thenks.

Okay let me put this out there. It’s high time someone confesses this happens.

The standard procedure every girl goes through when she has a crush, is this –

  1. Tell friends about crush *note plural*
  2. Friends FaceBook stalk guy
  3. Do psych analysis of information present on FaceBook
  4. Check compatibility with hypothesized character of crush

A 2008 DP of you is gonna make them think I’M a pedophile.

A car as your DP is gonna make them wonder why I only seem to fall for the weird ones.

A Doraemon character is gonna make them scream “RUN”.

You see the issues I’ve got to deal with over here?

*sigh*

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“He looks better in real life, I swearrr!”

  1. Abnormality Max

Okay so I’m not actually clumsy.

(I do have ninja reflexes that I usually run around boasting about but um that’s irrelevant I’m thinking. I can’t believe I’m swaying way off topic even when I’m writing to you. Ok I’m gonna go back to writing the point ok? Like right now. After the full stop. Ooo and bracket. Forgot bracket. Ok now seriously stopping.)

I do NOT gulp loudly all the time. My stomach does not make whale noises most of the time. I do not skip multiple steps and somehow land on the floor, head first.

Allllll of this, well, it isn’t me. Right up until the point you are within a 2 metre radius from me.

Then it goes like this –

Me: *breathes* –> *chokes* –> *dies*

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Need. To. Try. To. Be. Normal.

3. Bad Hair Days = Our Meets

If Life had a monologue, it would be something like this –

Oh! She’s put her hair in a messy bun? – Make her meet him once today, for 5 minutes – Oooo, she’s oiled her hair? – 45 minutes with him at the bus stop – Wait, what? – She’s looking pretty today? – Omg she wore kajal as well – we’re skipping the meet with him today – Code red. Code red. – Make him use the other stairway – She’s trying to defy me by dressing up again – Two days in a row – Who does she think she’s messing with – Silly girl – Do we give him a cold and make him stay at home? – NOOO – Go big or go home – Let’s bring about a snowstorm and cancel college itself – *fistpump*

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I swear, every time I realise my hair isn’t gonna listen to me that day, I’m SO sure I’m gonna end up meeting you.

Then I go about giving dialogues about how people should fall for who I am on the inside, and well, looking at point 2, we both know that’s far from happening as well, haha!

*laughs for 5 seconds and then cries*

4. I’m Hilarious, I swear.

I’m hilarious. It’s probably one of the few (ok fine, many*) things I take pride in. But the minute you walk into the room, my sense of humor goes *poof*.

This is pretty much how it goes –

Guy Friend: HAHAHA Not cool bro.

Crush: *sniggers*

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA *clapping like a seal* NOT COOL BRO.

Crush: *grimace + attempt to run away*

Guy Friend: *Facepalm*

Me: *bro-zoned forever*

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Nahiiiiiii

5.Psych Analyzed by Your Friends

I’m so god damn sure your friends have caught me staring at you like a potato. It’s like this secret but I know that they know that I know that they know that I like you. It’s subtly established in ways like this –

*Crush walks away to get a glass of water*

Crush’s Friend – *opens a notepad*

Me: Blah blah, I don’t like sweets.

Crush’s Friend: But he does. *serious face*

*awkward silence*

Me: *trying to change topic* Ooo I like this couch!

Crush’s Friend: He doesn’t.

*takes notes furiously*

*cue sweating*

Me: BUT WE BOTH LIKE VEGETABLES!

Crush’s Friend: *strikes me off ‘potential girlfriend’ list ‘cuz can sense crazy*

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Ah well, that’s it for now. Hopefully I’d be able to tell you this face-to-face someday.

Till then, I’m gonna keep finding new ways to redefine awkwardness, haha!

Currently Bro-zoned,

CatWomaniya ❤

p.s – You are awesome!

Ok now you get what I was trying to tell you.

Awkwarrd.

I think I’m gonna stop now.

I’m gonna go ok?

Yeah ok.

Ok bye.

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Someday, maybe ❤

 

How NOT to Deal With Your Crush

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You know how there are these people who just KNOW how to behave in front of their crushes?

Uh-huh. Just not one of them.

I swear, I could be the most confident girl in the room, possibly even strut around the place like I own it. Usually got my humor on point too.

Right up until the point this crush thingy sneaks up upon me aaand then I’m just literally like “ uh, potato?”

So since making lists is my forte, thought I’d let you guys know everything I’ve done so far in the whole crush arena that is definitely NOT the way to deal with it, haha!

Disclaimer: The facts disclosed below are NOT products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is NOT AT ALL coincidental.

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  1. Thug Life

So we have girls putting up all cute and dainty pictures of themselves to impress their crushes and then there’s me.

Putting this up –

thug

‘Cuz thug life is just the way into his heart yo

 2. Standard procedure for awkward scenes = Hug

I don’t know why, but every time I sense things get awkward, I have a tendency to just hug it out.

With friends, that’s okay.

With your crush? Um, this is sort of how it’ll go –

”Hey Prit!”

*clumsy waving, bordering on spaz attack*
*trips multiple times because just cannot*
*lack of hand-eye-face-foot co-ordination*
*awkward level – infinity*
*Hence, random hug*
*run off*
*crush stumped*
*end of future possibility of love life*
*cry in a corner*

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  1. Handling compliments in the MOST awkward way ever

Okay, I cannot, for the love of God, understand how people react to compliments.

I.JUST.CANNOT.

Like hello, do I look at you? Or look at the sky? Do I respond with a smile? Small smile? Big smile? Teeth smile? It gets so intense! I swear this happened –

“You look gorgeous”
*6 seconds of me trying to remember how to breathe*
*cue sweating*

“Happy Diwali?”

*cue bear hug* (Refer to point 3)

shy

‘Cuz shy is coming

  1. One compliment = Wear for next ten years

*wears chudidar+bindi+jhumkas*

“You look nice today”

*runs home*
*throws everything western away*

Chudidar = bae for next ten years

Thug life gayi baad mein.

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Day 1

day-infinity

Day Infinity

  1. Purposely run into him by accident

Come on, don’t tell me you guys haven’t ever done it too!

Half my conversations with my crush usually start like this –

“Hey! Fancy seeing you here!”

*mental fist pump because stud prediction*

yeah-bitches

‘Cuz I is stud

  1. Overthink everything

I have the attention span of a peanut. But when it comes to over-analyzing everything my crush is doing, I’m a freaking thesis writer!

*fist pump*
*looks at glares by friends*
*ok un-fist pump*

This is how my mind usually works around him

Did he just give me the eyebrow raise – why do I read those articles on signs a guy likes me – omg cannot concentrate – how do people even figure if the pupil increases in size – how do they write these articles – why can’t it be more obvious signs – why is his jawline so perfect – he looked at me for 3.485745896 seconds more than he usually does – did he just – like – what – is he holding my hand – uh yes – suddenly cannot feel my hands –  crap forgot to start counting how long that was for – think it is high time the world invents something to figure this out – like hello what is the world doing with its life – so stressed sigh

winter

Life is so complicated. *sigh*

 

  1. Tell the cashier about him + Offer dating tips

My previous article mentioned about how I’m mastering the art of small talk with cashiers.

Well, it has reached this point –

“Hi Ma’am, how are you?”
“Urgh, I’m okay! My crush is in the next aisle!”

*does a fancy jig*
*5 sec silence = cashier figuring if I just said what I just said*

“I totally know how that feels!”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I sometimes see my crush at my counter”

*cue aww*

“You should totally ask her outttttttt”

(It doesn’t matter if I am absolutely clueless, but heck, I will give random dating tips ok)

“I probably should! Good luck with that boy, girl!”
“Ah well fingers crossed!”

*actually crossing my fingers*

meow

MUST. DO. FANCY. JIG.

 

  1. Roll on the floor laughing at his jokes

Okay my crush is hilarious. Only to me, sadly.

This is pretty much how I am every time he cracks a joke –

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

*roll on floor laughing*
*clapping like a seal multiple times*

While my friends –

*blink blink*
*roll eyes*
*disown me*

LAUGHQ.jpg

He’s funny ok. I swear.

  1. Confess about my crush via a blog post

Uh, firstly, this isn’t a confession.

Secondly, I’m an independent woman who isn’t gonna let my heart get swayed.

Thirdly, pffft. I’m like a thug. I ain’t gonna fall for anyone.

*crush walks by*
*blush*

Damn it.

*hide under blanket forever*

awk1

Forever awkward in this crush phase,

CatWomaniya ❤