Love is

Love is when I feel his fingers
slipping through mine,
then firmly gripping,
just as we’re about to cross the road.

Love is when he carefully
watches the lights,
from the traffic next to him,
his body instinctively ready
to put me out of harm’s way.

Love is when his eyebrows furrow,
when he sees I’ve hurt myself.

Love is when he sits with me
in comfortable silence,
a content smile,
and a peaceful knowing.

Love is when he looks at me with concern,
asking if I’ve had something to eat.

Love is when he sees me
from far,
and knows,
my day has not been going well.

Love is when he feels helpless,
when I do, and even though
his strong arms bring comfort to me,
he wishes more for me.

Love is when he calls
as soon as he’s free,
as late in the night,
even though he’s got an early meeting
the next day.

Love is when he listens
intently to me
animatedly speaking all things passion.

Love is when his eyes flare
at any disrespect shown towards me,
even if it was from my own.

Love is when he stands up for me,
unwavering, unfaltering, and
fierce.

Love is when he waits
as I tie my shoelace,
as often as that happens.

Love is when he stays calm,
even through our toughest conversations.

Love is when he grins at me,
wondering what chaos
I will bring next.

Love is when he’s steady,
especially through my waves.

Love is when he knows
I can do it on my own,
but wants me to know
he’s right beside me.

Love is when he walks with me,
as his partner.

Love is when he holds me
in his arms, sighing with comfort,
for there is no safer place for me,
than with him.

Love is when he’s got his goofy smile,
the one he has, just for me,
as I dance my happy dance.

Love is when the sparkle in his eyes,
shine just for me.

Love is when he cheers me on,
supports my vision,
and stands strong as my strength.

Love is when he shows up
when he says he would.

Love is when he learns
to express unabashedly,
for he knows it matters.

Love is when he’s ready
to tackle any problem
that steps between him and I.

Love is when he found me just as I was,
didn’t want to change a thing,
but instead, made a decision
to evolve with me.

Love is when he buys my favorite,
just to see my face light up.

Love is when he cares
about how we grow,
and how we grow together.

Love is when he lets me know,
as many times as I need to hear,
that he’s got my back.

Love is when he wakes up
in the middle of the night,
hugs my nightmare away
till I fall asleep again.

Love is when I’m the first person
his eyes dart towards, in every room.

Love is when he shares his fears,
thoughts, feelings,
knowing I am his home,
and he’s safe with me too.

Love is and will always be, him.

Why You Should Date Me

As someone who’s been single for the last 7 years, I think it’s high time I step into the dating game all over again!

As usual, I decided to do what I do best –> Resort to humor, cuz obviously I’m panicking.

 

 

Charming people through ppts now,

CatWomaniya ❤

3 Year Blog Anniversary!

This is going to be a long one I think.

This status marks my 3 year anniversary of my blog! I thought I’d write my thoughts about it.

I started the blog when I was at a very, very low point in my life. It was my way of trying to look at the positives when life was trying to pull me down. I realized that there were people out there who were going through the similar downs and were possibly as clueless as I was.

I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to be able to help people by doing something I seemed good at – Writing! It may not have been much, maybe providing a laugh or two, but I still wanted to try. Writing about relationships, life, love, humor in daily life, social issues, stuff on personal development has not only made me look at life more clearly, but also made me feel like somewhere, in the tiniest way, I was making a difference to someone.

A random comment from someone telling me I made their day, or someone coming up to me and telling me that they absolutely connected with something I had written when they were going through stuff, small things like that have motivated me to keep writing.

I can’t believe it’s been 3 years. Over 70 articles, couple published in a few online magazines, I’m happy that I stuck to it!

This is a huge, huge thank you to every single person who has supported me throughout the years. People who constantly have encouraged me, people who have helped me improve my writing content by giving me feedback, people I have never met telling me that my posts made a difference to their lives, my followers on blog, you guys have no idea how much your support means to me! The constant love you guys have shown me really touches me.

I know I’ll continue to keep writing, keep trying to make you laugh with my shenanigans, maybe melt a few hearts with my love stories, and encourage a few to take a positive step in life with my other articles!

I hope you guys continue to support me for the years to come!
You are literally the reason I write!

Lots and lots of love,
CatWomaniya 

How To Be a Hazard. To, uh, Yourself.

I recently started living by myself. People say that when you start living by yourself, you discover new things about yourself, like a whole wave of realizations, deep intellectual reflections etc.

Nope. Apparently THAT isn’t going to be my thing.

I seem to have a talent in finding new ways to be a hazard. To literally the only person in the house – Me.

As always, I decided to jot down my list of ‘How To Be A Hazard. To Yourself.’

Disclaimer: Imitating instances mentioned in this post may induce some serious injuries. Do not try at home. Subject has already done that for you. 

1. Leave Sharp Objects Lying Around
   
   People who know me, know that I’m hopelessly absent-minded. Below are pictures of an incident that actually occurred. Uh, yes, I have managed to become a lot more responsible after that. Uh no, it hasn’t repeated.
   *looking up at the sky*
   Please don’t tell my mom. Thanks.
   

   Doing some cool stuff ‘cuz joblessness

   

   A rare picture of subject doing work

   

   peek-a-boo!

   

   Subject MAY have sat on it. That’s confidential information.

2. Play ‘Live-Life-Dangerously’ Kind-of Games
   
   Okay I really love this one game I invented.
   *looks at mom’s death stare*
   Okay, um, this game is not cool. I repeat. Not cool at all.
   *sheepish grin*
   So what you have to do is try to cut vegetables with your weaker hand. You keep trying to decrease your cutting time as the days go by.
   Not that I have tried doing this multiple times, of course.
   Following are pictures of a random subject attempting to play the game.
   (mom, I swear, that isn’t me!)
   

   Subject is excited to cut with her left hand!

   

   I doubt subject focused this much in her engineering.

   

   Subject may be rethinking life decisions.

    

I hope you guys liked my post!

Lots of Love,

CatWomaniya! ❤

The Bus Stop

His: She’s beautiful. I look at her, and I’m just awe-struck. Every. Single. Time. I’ve actually seen her do a jig in the bus. Out of the blue. When she throws her head up and laughs, something pul…

Source: The Bus Stop

The Bus Stop

His:

She’s beautiful. I look at her, and I’m just awe-struck. Every. Single. Time. I’ve actually seen her do a jig in the bus. Out of the blue. When she throws her head up and laughs, something pulls me towards her.

Somedays, I see her look outside the window, alone and quiet. Immersed in her own thoughts. Other days, I see her face light up when she’s watching few people dance on her phone. I also see her in the library, often. She sits in the corner table on the third floor. Always. I think that’s her spot. She tucks her hair behind her ear, I think she does that when she’s trying to focus, and that tugs my heart a bit. She seems to like wearing Indian clothes, and it is amazing for me to see how different she looks in them!

The worst part?
She doesn’t know I exist.

Mondays. Wednesdays. Fridays.
8.25am. 3.15pm.
The Bus-Stop.
That’s when I catch her.

I still remember the first time I saw her. We were standing at the bus-stop and she had her headphones on. She was tapping her feet to the beat, her lips moving ever so slightly, and her head was swaying a little. I laughed to myself. We ended up standing together in the bus and every time the bus moved, she would move with it. Balancing herself in the bus was clearly not one of her strengths. She’d fall on to me, and then apologize and then fall again and then apologize and look determined not to fall again. She looked ridiculously cute doing that.

That’s when I started to notice her. The way she walked. The way she talked, waving her hands all around. The way she makes an effort to climb on to the bus because it’s just too wide for her. I’ve heard her talk. You will NOT believe the speed at which she talks. I think about her, more often than I’d admit. She’s..different.

Maybe the attraction is all physical. Or maybe it was, initially, until I started to notice her more.

Whatever it is, as absurd as it sounds, I’m drawn towards her.

*

Her:

It’s 8.10. He’s not here yet. And the bus is here. Maybe, just maybe, my foot got stuck in the one foot of snow and I can’t move right now. Does that seem like a legit reason why I should miss this bus? Uh, hello, yes.

I’m not waiting for him. Pfft. Why would I do that?

No, I didn’t dress up for him.

Can you not look at me suspiciously? Yeah, thanks.

Is he not coming today? It’s 8.17. Why can’t guys ever be on time?

*footsteps*

Aha! That must be him. I can totally recognize him by his footsteps now.

Oh wait. Not him. Sigh.

Urgh. Next bus is here. Can’t miss this or I’ll be late to class.

Maybe today is just not my day to see him.

Wait. SOMEONE decides to hop onto the bus in the last minute. I’m supposed to be grinning in my head, but clearly I have issues with my poker face.

The first time I noticed him? I was waiting for the bus to stop so that I could get onto it, and I see this guy come half running, half trying to put on his shoes! He stops right beside me, all flustered, and I thought it was hilarious!

I began to notice him after that. I’d spot him in the library. At the bus-stop. Sometimes, on the bus on my way back home. He’s got bright blue eyes, messy hair, and a bit of a stubble. He’s insanely tall. Okay not insanely but then for a girl of 5 feet, that’s um, well, intimidating. He’s usually by himself. Seems like an introvert. But I could be wrong. I do love men with a good sense of humor so I’m sorta crossing my fingers hoping that he’s funny.

The first time I noticed he was noticing me back? ( I’m way too smart for my own good I tell you) It was pretty late at night, and it was just the two of us at the back of the bus. I could see him looking at me from the window’s reflection. I did turn, and he gave me a small smile. I returned the smile, but I think I looked like I was grimacing. I think it’s high time I learn how to do the nice smile+blush+look down+flutter eyelashes thingy that normal girls do. Neither of us pursued a conversation. I’ve kept trying to pluck up my courage to say a hello, but we all know what a chicken I am.

Someday, I’m gonna say hi. Or by then this whole telepathy thing would’ve been figured out and I could resort to that. I’m seriously hoping for the latter though.

***

My point of this was to remind you of all those secret crushes we’ve had over the years! The girl in your chemistry class who was so smart? Or that guy in the canteen the other day? That girl who walked past you once in the corridor and you thought she looked good? That guy in the National Debate Competition who was just totally killing it and you were staring at him in awe? Random crushes on people you have never met before. People you would probably never get to talk to ever again. People you would never bump into again. People you’ve just caught a glimpse of, and yet somehow have impacted you.

Now hold on for a second. Realise that YOU were this person to so so many people out there. Realise that someone at some point, has looked at you and thought, “Wow. He’s amazing.” Or “She’s gorgeous” or “ He’s so confident” or “She dances so well”. It doesn’t look like it would, but trust me, it does happen.

I know for a fact that some days I wake up feeling like a potato. Sometimes I feel there’s nothing about me that could charm anyone. On those days, I think about this, and I feel a lot better about myself! I thought of writing this for every single person who has felt the same about themselves. There are moments of a dip in your self-esteem, and that’s okay. There are self-doubts, and well, that’s okay as well! Not everyone is going to tell you how you’ve impacted their lives positively. Sometimes, the most beautiful of compliments gets hidden from you. You’ve got to find it in you to know you are amazing! This happens to be one of the ways that actually works for me, haha!

I usually write about what I’m going through (surprise, surprise!) and this absolutely resonates with what I’ve felt over the past couple of days and I thought I’d pen my thoughts. Self-love is the best kind of love, but sometimes you do fall short of making yourself feel better. We all are entitled to our ‘feel good’ thoughts, and this happens to be one of them for me and I thought I’d share it with you guys!

On that note, Happpyyy Valentine’s Dayyy! ❤

Hope you liked the article!

Still rooting for the telepathy thingy,
CatWomaniya ❤

 

You? Priceless.

I know I’ve been writing a lot of funny articles lately, but I thought I’d end this year with an article that pretty much sums up everything I’ve learnt in 2016. This article is dedicated to everyone who needs to enter 2017 knowing that they are unique; they are priceless, just exactly the way they are.

I think that we waste too much of our time allowing people to make us feel differently about ourselves. We wonder and wonder about what people think of us. We hesitate to take a step because we think it may change the perfect image everyone else has of us.

We fear taking risks. We fear telling someone how we feel about them. We fear putting our foot down when something isn’t going right. We fear going against the wind. We fear. And well, fear.

And you know what the worst part is? At every stage in life, we’re gonna find people who are more than willing to feed on this fear. They’re gonna tell you how to behave. They’re gonna tell you how to make YOUR life decisions. They’re gonna criticize every single thing you attempt to do differently. They’re gonna be pretty persistent about it too. It isn’t that they have your well-being in your mind. No no, it isn’t about that. That would be a different scenario then. This kind of behavior sprouts because of their own insecurities. Their own inability to cope with the fact that you are different.

For quite a part of my life, I had someone or the other telling me I wasn’t good enough for someone. Told me I was wayyy too emotional. That I didn’t fit into the norms of today’s casual dating. Told me I was too hyper for my own good. Told me I wasn’t pretty enough. That maybe if I had a lighter skin tone, and probably three more inches of height, I’d look so much better. Told me that if I tried to be myself, no one was ever gonna like me. Told me that being blunt was the worst thing ever. That my tendency to express myself even for the smallest things would ‘work against me’ someday. Told me that my kind of writing wasn’t formal and no one would ever appreciate it. Told me that no one would get my kind of humor. Told me that I should dress a certain way because it was how everyone wanted to dress. That I wouldn’t fit in. Told me I shouldn’t have any expectations. Constantly kept putting me down in front of other people, just so that they would look good.

Words like ‘Can’t’, ‘Don’t’, ‘No’, ‘Shouldn’t’ pretty much filled my life and when someone constantly keeps telling you negative things, at some point, it starts to fill your thoughts as well. You tend to start feeling that way about yourself. You accept the way people want you to perceive yourself.

It took me a while to understand that I had gotten the logic all wrong. It took a lot of effort to continue putting my foot down. To fight every negative comment with a laugh and still do whatever the heck I wanted to do anyway, haha! It was a little painful when I decided to start distancing myself from people who constantly tried to pull my spirits down. It took time, and a hell lot of a conscious effort to not let their words affect me.

What I learnt this year is that people are going to perceive you the way YOU want them to. Believe me, that is like the biggest power you have. If you are gonna give up and let people walk all over you, then that’s how they’re behave as well.

Building on your self-esteem and confidence is a never-ending battle. The minute you feel you’ve conquered one person, there’s gonna be a much harsher person waiting to knock you down.

Make this your resolution for this year. Remove anyone who is toxic. Honestly, you don’t need that kind of negative energy. Hold on to the ones who truly love you and encourage you to be YOU. They’re the best kind. Take time to understand who you are as a person. YOUR likes, YOUR dislikes, YOUR quirks, YOUR flaws. Don’t let someone else tell you about you. Don’t let someone break your confidence again and again over something that isn’t even your problem to begin with. Walk away if you feel you aren’t valued as a person. Literally run if all you feel around them is how weird you are, because weird is good. Anything different is weird until it becomes the new norm. And YOU get to make that a norm for yourself. You owe that to yourself.

Change yourself only when YOU think it is the right thing to do. Feel differently only if that’s what YOU want to do. Not because someone else told you to. Or because everyone else thinks it’s the right thing to do.

Know you are unique, and that’s okay. You are different, and that’s perfectly normal. You are priceless, and no matter what anyone tells you, YOU get to decide how YOU want everyone to see you.

That’s a whole load of capitalized YOU’s in my article, and trust me, that’s precisely how your life should look!

Stepping into 2017 knowing I’M priceless,

CatWomaniya ❤

p.s – Happpyyy New Yearrr! I truly hope the new year brings you all the love and happiness you deserve!

5 Things I’d Like to Tell My Crush

Dear Crush,

I’m not sure if you’ve already figured out, but this one is sort of dedicated to you. Since I’ve got a total lack of brain+voice co-ordination around you, I decided to do what I do best – Writing a list of the things I’d like you to know.

1. Latest Version of You as DP pls. Ok Thenks.

Okay let me put this out there. It’s high time someone confesses this happens.

The standard procedure every girl goes through when she has a crush, is this –

1. Tell friends about crush *note plural*
2. Friends FaceBook stalk guy
3. Do psych analysis of information present on FaceBook
4. Check compatibility with hypothesized character of crush

A 2008 DP of you is gonna make them think I’M a pedophile.

A car as your DP is gonna make them wonder why I only seem to fall for the weird ones.

A Doraemon character is gonna make them scream “RUN”.

You see the issues I’ve got to deal with over here?

*sigh*

“He looks better in real life, I swearrr!”

2. Abnormality Max

Okay so I’m not actually clumsy.

(I do have ninja reflexes that I usually run around boasting about but um that’s irrelevant I’m thinking. I can’t believe I’m swaying way off topic even when I’m writing to you. Ok I’m gonna go back to writing the point ok? Like right now. After the full stop. Ooo and bracket. Forgot bracket. Ok now seriously stopping.)

I do NOT gulp loudly all the time. My stomach does not make whale noises most of the time. I do not skip multiple steps and somehow land on the floor, head first.

Allllll of this, well, it isn’t me. Right up until the point you are within a 2 metre radius from me.

Then it goes like this –

Me: *breathes* –> *chokes* –> *dies*

Need. To. Try. To. Be. Normal.

3. Bad Hair Days = Our Meets

If Life had a monologue, it would be something like this –

Oh! She’s put her hair in a messy bun? – Make her meet him once today, for 5 minutes – Oooo, she’s oiled her hair? – 45 minutes with him at the bus stop – Wait, what? – She’s looking pretty today? – Omg she wore kajal as well – we’re skipping the meet with him today – Code red. Code red. – Make him use the other stairway – She’s trying to defy me by dressing up again – Two days in a row – Who does she think she’s messing with – Silly girl – Do we give him a cold and make him stay at home? – NOOO – Go big or go home – Let’s bring about a snowstorm and cancel college itself – *fistpump*

I swear, every time I realise my hair isn’t gonna listen to me that day, I’m SO sure I’m gonna end up meeting you.

Then I go about giving dialogues about how people should fall for who I am on the inside, and well, looking at point 2, we both know that’s far from happening as well, haha!

*laughs for 5 seconds and then cries*

4. I’m Hilarious, I swear.

I’m hilarious. It’s probably one of the few (ok fine, many*) things I take pride in. But the minute you walk into the room, my sense of humor goes *poof*.

This is pretty much how it goes –

Guy Friend: HAHAHA Not cool bro.

Crush: *sniggers*

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA *clapping like a seal* NOT COOL BRO.

Crush: *grimace + attempt to run away*

Guy Friend: *Facepalm*

Me: *bro-zoned forever*

Nahiiiiiii

5.Psych Analyzed by Your Friends

I’m so god damn sure your friends have caught me staring at you like a potato. It’s like this secret but I know that they know that I know that they know that I like you. It’s subtly established in ways like this –

*Crush walks away to get a glass of water*

Crush’s Friend – *opens a notepad*

Me: Blah blah, I don’t like sweets.

Crush’s Friend: But he does. *serious face*

*awkward silence*

Me: *trying to change topic* Ooo I like this couch!

Crush’s Friend: He doesn’t.

*takes notes furiously*

*cue sweating*

Me: BUT WE BOTH LIKE VEGETABLES!

Crush’s Friend: *strikes me off ‘potential girlfriend’ list ‘cuz can sense crazy*

Ah well, that’s it for now. Hopefully I’d be able to tell you this face-to-face someday.

Till then, I’m gonna keep finding new ways to redefine awkwardness, haha!

Currently Bro-zoned,

CatWomaniya ❤

p.s – You are awesome!

Ok now you get what I was trying to tell you.

Awkwarrd.

I think I’m gonna stop now.

I’m gonna go ok?

Yeah ok.

Ok bye.

Someday, maybe ❤

 

How NOT to Deal With Your Crush

 

You know how there are these people who just KNOW how to behave in front of their crushes?

Uh-huh. Just not one of them.

I swear, I could be the most confident girl in the room, possibly even strut around the place like I own it. Usually got my humor on point too.

Right up until the point this crush thingy sneaks up upon me aaand then I’m just literally like “ uh, potato?”

So since making lists is my forte, thought I’d let you guys know everything I’ve done so far in the whole crush arena that is definitely NOT the way to deal with it, haha!

Disclaimer: The facts disclosed below are NOT products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is NOT AT ALL coincidental.

1. Thug Life

So we have girls putting up all cute and dainty pictures of themselves to impress their crushes and then there’s me.

Putting this up –

‘Cuz thug life is just the way into his heart yo

 2. Standard procedure for awkward scenes = Hug

I don’t know why, but every time I sense things get awkward, I have a tendency to just hug it out.

With friends, that’s okay.

With your crush? Um, this is sort of how it’ll go –

”Hey Prit!”

*clumsy waving, bordering on spaz attack*
*trips multiple times because just cannot*
*lack of hand-eye-face-foot co-ordination*
*awkward level – infinity*
*Hence, random hug*
*run off*
*crush stumped*
*end of future possibility of love life*
*cry in a corner*

3. Handling compliments in the MOST awkward way ever

Okay, I cannot, for the love of God, understand how people react to compliments.

I.JUST.CANNOT.

Like hello, do I look at you? Or look at the sky? Do I respond with a smile? Small smile? Big smile? Teeth smile? It gets so intense! I swear this happened –

“You look gorgeous”
*6 seconds of me trying to remember how to breathe*
*cue sweating*

“Happy Diwali?”

*cue bear hug* (Refer to point 3)

‘Cuz shy is coming

4. One compliment = Wear for next ten years

*wears chudidar+bindi+jhumkas*

“You look nice today”

*runs home*
*throws everything western away*

Chudidar = bae for next ten years

Thug life gayi baad mein.

Day 1

Day Infinity

5. Purposely run into him by accident

Come on, don’t tell me you guys haven’t ever done it too!

Half my conversations with my crush usually start like this –

“Hey! Fancy seeing you here!”

*mental fist pump because stud prediction*

‘Cuz I is stud

6. Overthink everything

I have the attention span of a peanut. But when it comes to over-analyzing everything my crush is doing, I’m a freaking thesis writer!

*fist pump*
*looks at glares by friends*
*ok un-fist pump*

This is how my mind usually works around him –

Did he just give me the eyebrow raise – why do I read those articles on signs a guy likes me – omg cannot concentrate – how do people even figure if the pupil increases in size – how do they write these articles – why can’t it be more obvious signs – why is his jawline so perfect – he looked at me for 3.485745896 seconds more than he usually does – did he just – like – what – is he holding my hand – uh yes – suddenly cannot feel my hands –  crap forgot to start counting how long that was for – think it is high time the world invents something to figure this out – like hello what is the world doing with its life – so stressed sigh

Life is so complicated. *sigh*

 

7. Tell the cashier about him + Offer dating tips

My previous article mentioned about how I’m mastering the art of small talk with cashiers.

Well, it has reached this point –

“Hi Ma’am, how are you?”
“Urgh, I’m okay! My crush is in the next aisle!”

*does a fancy jig*
*5 sec silence = cashier figuring if I just said what I just said*

“I totally know how that feels!”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I sometimes see my crush at my counter”

*cue aww*

“You should totally ask her outttttttt”

(It doesn’t matter if I am absolutely clueless, but heck, I will give random dating tips ok)

“I probably should! Good luck with that boy, girl!”
“Ah well fingers crossed!”

*actually crossing my fingers*

MUST. DO. FANCY. JIG.

 

8. Roll on the floor laughing at his jokes

Okay my crush is hilarious. Only to me, sadly.

This is pretty much how I am every time he cracks a joke –

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

*roll on floor laughing*
*clapping like a seal multiple times*

While my friends –

*blink blink*
*roll eyes*
*disown me*

He’s funny ok. I swear.

9. Confess about my crush via a blog post

Uh, firstly, this isn’t a confession.

Secondly, I’m an independent woman who isn’t gonna let my heart get swayed.

Thirdly, pffft. I’m like a thug. I ain’t gonna fall for anyone.

*crush walks by*
*blush*

Damn it.

*hide under blanket forever*

Forever awkward in this crush phase,

CatWomaniya ❤

 

 

If US Culture Were in India! (Part 1)

 

I haven’t been able to write in a while. Was busy getting used to the huge change in my life, adjusting to the place, figuring out a lot of things, and I finally feel like I’ve settled down!

There were a couple of things that took me by surprise here. I wouldn’t so much call it a cultural shock, what with all the media in India showing us pretty much everything there is to know about this country.

Since making lists is my forte, I thought I’d jot it down for all of you!

 

1. “Hi, how are you?”

Okay, this, I HAVE to talk about. Everywhere you go, people are ridiculously polite, and well, expect you to be polite as well.

This is what actually happened to me –

*at Target cashier counter*

“Hi, How are you?”

*suddenly losing my ability to talk*

“I’m good!”

*silence*

*Cue sweating*

“How are.. um, you?”

*attempt at breaking the silence*

“I’m great, thanks! Now let’s see what you’ve got over here.”

Yes ok, I now practice conversing with the cashier in my head, 5 seconds before I reach the aisle.

But really, I was so amused by this, because if this were in India, this is pretty much how the conversation would go –

“Hi, how are you?”

“Areyy, not good at all. My bahu doesn’t do any of the work in the house. Always fighting with me. She talks back too! Kids these days. No respect at all. She’s stealing my son away from me. I just know it. I knew this even before marriage. Do I deserve this? I carried him for 9 months, and that ullu ka patta just flipped sides in seconds. Life is too hard, too hard. Are you married? If you are, then respect your mother-in-law. If you aren’t then, make sure you don’t get married. …..”

*continues for another hour*

*cashier stumped*

*line = 583 people*

2. “Bless You”

So wherever you go, and if you are somehow caught sneezing, no matter how far you are or how soft your sneeze is, you will NOT be able to take the next breath without hearing at least one ‘Bless You’.

I swear, I had a 3-day crush on this guy who said ‘Bless You’ when I sneezed in class someday. I was literally like ayyy-so-cute-he-actually-cares-and-omg-has-any-Bollywood-movie-started-this-way-like-hello-must-tell-karan-johar-asap.

That was before I was attacked with a bunch of ‘Bless Yous’ the next time round and realized it was sort of a thing here. Sigh. End of crush. End of future possibility of love story.

If this were in India, it would NEVER stop at just two words. It would pretty much go like this –

*Acchooo*

“Ayyyoo rama, are you okay? Go have ginger tea. No no, first wear a sweater. Then Ginger tea. Forget class. Forget life. Have Ginger tea. Do you know how to make Ginger tea? Wait, I’ll make it for you. This girl just doesn’t care about her health. How are you gonna survive after marriage? You still haven’t learnt how to make round rotis also. I’ll teach you this weekend. It’s high time you learnt how to make rotis that did not resemble country shapes.”

*wondering how a sneeze turned into a life lesson*

 

3. “If I were you …”

I’ve noticed this quite a bit here. No one is gonna outrightly tell you what to do.

No aunties telling you that you MUST do this or that. No one in your friend circle is going to push you to do what they think is right for you.

However, the minute you hear the words, “If I were you ..”, that’s it, THAT is their advice.

Coming from a place where everyone blatantly tells you what you should do and shouldn’t, I found this pretty amusing.

“Hey, do you think I should text him back?”

“If I were you, I would THINK about waiting for a few days.”

*underlying intense hint*

If this whole concept were in India, well, firstly, I don’t think I’d be able to recognize the place and love it for its absolute rawness, but I’m pretty sure it would go something like this –

“Hey, do you think I should text him back?”

“”If I were you .. *struggles for 5 minutes to find words*

*reverts back to basic instinct because just cannot*

“NO YOU WILL NOT TEXT HIM BACK. ARE YOU STUPID? GIVE ME THAT PHONE. THERE. IT IS LOCKED IN HERE FOREVER. NO TEXTING. NO CALLING. GO SIT AND BLOG NOW. DON’T.EVEN.THINK.ABOUT.THIS. THIS GIRL I TELL YOU.”

Haha, sigh, believe me, I find that to be the most adorable thing about my friends!

Ah well, that’s it for now. Coming up with Part 2 next week.

Hope you guys liked this!

Lots of Love + Missing India Feels,

CatWomaniya! ❤